OB doesn't know how or why, but the baby is still fine. He said that with everything i've had happening, he is surprised that I haven't m/c'd. but, everything looks perfect. healthy baby, healthy heart beat. find out the gender in a couple of weeks!

i'm very, very sore at the moment. about to take some panadine & heat pack and go to bed. I'm having on and off pink bleeding/spotting today. I've spent most of the day in tears! This Christmas is the first without my Grandma & I'm really missing the baby I lost at the start of the year. I don't think I could handle loosing a 2nd one this year. I also miss Ben. It's been a couple of weeks since I've seen him. We have spoken though. I won't have him this Christmas either, it makes me sad. I don't know how you women with husbands that are away for lengthy amounts of time cope!

Thanks for thinking of me and my bean everyone.

WAY TMI

I've been leaking clear fluid. Went to the GP, she said it's either a UTI or the start of that threatened miscarriage they have been talking about with all my bleeding. I've been put on antibiotics and they've taken a wee sample. If I have more pain, bleeding, leaking i've been told to go to the hospital or call an ambulance. I did have the same thing with S's pregnancy at 15 weeks, it was a UTI. I didn't bleed with that pregnancy though.

fuck this shit. I am beside myself. why the fuck can't it be easy for me for once? Sophia is sick with an ear infection, rash, head cold & UTI. I'm exhausted from looking after her, the poor thing is just so sick. I'm too tired & dizzy to move at the moment, good thing S is asleep. I hope Mum comes home soon.

fuck fuck fuck.

I'm still bleeding off and on again. It is driving me crazy. Doctor keeps reassuring me all is ok.
This is not very good for my stress & anxiety levels.

back from seeing the OB.

Baby is healthy, cervix is tight shut. No obvious signs of why I've been bleeding. He is positive this isn't anything sinister. I have got a low-lying placenta, but that may resolve itself with time. I had the exact same thing with Sophia. Low-lying placenta is VERY common with IVF pregnancies.

basically I have to keep doing what I am. avoid heavy lifting, pelvic rest, heat packs & panadol

he checked my cervix with the u/s so I didn't have to have an internal. he said he likes to avoid those, especially in people with my history. he also said that often internals can cause further bleeding.

One bad thing, Sophia wanged her head REALLY well in his office, she's got a huge bruise and egg on her head! Ouch!

4 week old babies and free gelati

Sophia and I visited a friend this morning. Her son is now 4 weeks old. I got to have cuddles. I was really good and didn't get teary or anything, he is a week older than the baby we lost at the start of the year should be. It was nice to be ok around a baby!

S & I then went out for my work Xmas lunch. Nice Italian place. She was SO well behaved, especially considering this place is not designed for kids & she was the only kid there. We shared a pizza. a BIG treat for both of us! Once we had finished, the owner came to me for a chat. He asked Sophia how old she was, expecting her to answer. I told him that she is 1 3/4 turning 2 at the end of Feb. He said that he didn't believe me (he was being funny) He said that surely a child who can sit so well at a restaurant etc. was nearly 3 not nearly 2!

He asked me if she could have an ice-cream, I said yes, he asks S if she wants an ice-cream, she said 'yes please'. And off she went holding hands with this massive man to the front of the store. I followed and there he was asking her what colours she would like. He gave her a rainbow gelati, green, red, white, orange in a cone. She came back to the table looking VERY happy with herself. She ate ALL of it. even the cone. it was hilarious! she was very happy with herself, the man was happy to have made her happy.

so yer, babies, pizza and free gelati add up for a good morning!

I get home to discover I've been bleeding again. I've just put through a call to the OB. *sigh*

Going Private:

Hi all,

I have decided to start a new private blog. I am still more than happy to have people who I know in real life and people who I have met over the internet read the blog. If you want to access the private blog email me at oimiloy@hotmail.com explaining where you know me from ie: the Mamas, pregnancy.org, facebook etc. I can then add you to the list of people who have permission to read the blog. Once made private, my updates will not appear in your dashboard reading list, you will need to remember to check in.

anyway, I will explain more at the new blog. I look forward to receiving your emails.

love and hugs
Em.

ETA: